40. Please keep the plague from our village.
39. Please keep the war from our countryside.
38. Please don't make me a slave.
37. Please don't let them burn me alive.
36. Please let the white man live up to his word.
35. Please let me feed my children tonight.
34. Please protect my son on the battlefield.
33. Please let it be benign.
32. Please let there be a God.
31. Please don't let my wife find out.
30. Please let this happiness last.
29. Please don't let my parents get divorced.
28. Please don't let that be a gun.
27. Please don't let me be gay.
26. Please don't let my husband be in Tower One.
25. Please let our people have justice.
24. Please let us have a child.
23. Please don't let our son be deformed.
22. Please don't let them amputate.
21. Please let me see my dad again in heaven.
20. Please don't let my wife die of cancer.
19. Please let my wife die of cancer.
18. Please don't let my body reject this organ.
17. Please don't let my mom go blind.
16. Please stop my priest from molesting me.
15. Please God, don't let this man rape me.
14. Please don't let us die in this gas chamber.
13. Please just make the pain stop.
12. Please just kill me now.
11. Please don't let this be my life.
10. Please don't let my dad die.
9. Please don't let my mom die.
8. Please don't let my sister die.
7. Please don't let my brother die.
6. Please don't let my husband die.
5. Please don't let my wife die.
4. Please don't let my daughter die.
3. Please don't let my son die.
2. Please don't let me die.
1. I want to live.
8 comments:
Wow, even though it's in list form, I'm pretty sure this qualifies as poetry. Very sobering. I like the optimism of the last line, then I realized it too goes unanswered, which made it bittersweet. It's no wonder you write dark comedies like Smother. I just realized "dies" is in the word comedies. That's pretty bleak. Your last two posts have forced me to up my game. I hope I'm up to it. I hope.
ps. Vince prayed for the insight and bravery to post a good blog, but so far he's heard nothing. Forget the butter, pass the knife.
Please don't let that new bump on my anus be a portend of another painful "thrombosed hemorrhoid."
The haunting, vacant mockery of unanswered prayer does give some seasoning to life, though.
Nice one, shithead. I've been keeping an eye on you two. But don't get too excited, I got bigger fish to fry. Believe it or not, there's a few serious clusterfucks taking place on that jewel of a rock I put you guys on, only to watch you trash it like a Rolling Stones hotel suite in the 70's. You guys kill me with this "time" bullshit, by the way. I'll handle the future, you can pine about the past, but I gave you the present as a gift and you dumbasses never spend any time there. That last one was for all of you. You're ice skating on my last nerve with this happiness shit, too. Is not the pleasure of a breath of fresh, clean air and the warm sunlight on your face enough? You guys landed in California, right? Cool. So what more do you want? There's nobody shooting at you as far as you know. My point is, I hooked you guys up, big time, and you got the best zip code in the universe. Have you seen Venus or Mars? Talk about Ghetto. Look, you don't wanna believe in me, fine. Knock yourselves out. We'll settle up at the end of the night. As for these "prayers" that go unanswered, did you stop and ask yourself why they would end up in my circular file? If any one of those prayers is answered, who benefits? That's right, the "Asker". That's not exactly the point I'm trying to make with that whole New Testament initiative. My inbox is overflowing with selfish, self-serving, me, me, me prayers. Seriously, its deafening. Besides, I created you all with brains, muscles and in some rare cases, common sense. That's all you need to solve 99% of the shit you'll have to deal with, trust me. So, when you need something, I mean really need it, go ahead and ask. If it will benefit more than just you, I'll consider it. If you're asking on someone else's behalf, I get really excited. Read up on Zen. That's some good shit. Energy fellas. Energy. You're either suckin' it in or sharing it with your fellow man. Take or Give. Think about it. As for whether or not I exist, I ask you: have you ever seen the Marianas Trench? Then how do you know it's there? Later numbnuts.
-Big G
Big G,
A delightful and thoughtful response, to be sure. Thank you for taking the time to post it. Although in actuality you are not God but in fact a human being posting on a blog (and most likely Jeff Coatney of Eagle Rock, CA, at that), and even though your post could be described as yet another human being making the case for God while God continues His legendary silence, The General does applaud the spirit of your post and I am glad we could have this exchange. Thanks for plugging in.
Yours,
Malaise
I'll have a ham on rye, hold the Malaise...
-O.J.
Please God, let the next post be funny.
I love Stacie.
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